--- title: "Self-Care Part One: Redefining Your Own Self-Care" description: Self-care can look different for everyone. Learn from Debrah Lee, LCSW, about how to reflect on the authentic self-care moments that serve you. image: https://blog.atdove.org/hubfs/DVM_Photos-2.jpg --- [![atdove2021_WordMark_RGB](https://blog.atdove.org/hs-fs/hubfs/atdove2021_WordMark_RGB.png?width=1800&height=660&name=atdove2021_WordMark_RGB.png "atdove2021_WordMark_RGB")](http://www.atdove.org) Open main menu Close main menu [Veterinary Professional Development](https://blog.atdove.org/tag/veterinary-professional-development) # Self-Care Part One: Redefining Your Own Self-Care ![Debrah Lee, LCSW](https://blog.atdove.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Headshots/Square%20Crop/Debrah%20Lee.jpg?width=45&name=Debrah%20Lee.jpg) [Debrah Lee, LCSW](https://blog.atdove.org/author/debrah-lee-lcsw) [Share this blog post on Twitter](https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=I+found+this+interesting+blog+post&url=https://blog.atdove.org/veterinary-self-care-part-one) [Share this blog post on Facebook](http://www.facebook.com/share.php?u=https://blog.atdove.org/veterinary-self-care-part-one) [Share this blog post on LinkedIn](http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=https://blog.atdove.org/veterinary-self-care-part-one) ![veterinary wellbeing](https://blog.atdove.org/hubfs/DVM_Photos-2.jpg) Self-care can be so fiddly. I was introduced to the concept of self-care in my social work program, and beginning there, my relationship with it has been multifaceted. During my program, some discussions about self-care felt very superficial: *your work is stressful, so do these things to feel better*. At its worst and most unhelpful, the concept of self-care could morph quickly into shame: *this is hard because you didn’t do the self-care things, so you only have yourself blame. *Other times, the discussions laid bare the tension of focusing on myself when there are many systems that influence my resources to do so: *Dear Professor, did you really encourage self-care and then assign me three chapters and a five-page paper due by next week?* But what also deeply resonated with me then – as it does now – is that *you can’t pour from an empty cup. *The work that we do in caring professions – and this 100% includes every veterinary professional from front office to OR to business teams – is inherently draining. It takes a lot of energy to be fully present and provide care and support to patients, clients, and our teams. (And beyond our work, it also takes a lot of energy to be fully present for those we love and care about in our personal lives.) Since my graduate program, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, learning, and unlearning around self-care. These are some of the learning and thoughts that have helped me as I try to engage consistently and authentically with self-care. ###### *Redefine self-care* The first image that often comes to my mind when someone mentions self-care is a bubble bath with strategically placed candles and plants accompanied with *#selfcare. *Bubble baths with candles and plants can genuinely be a part of someone’s self-care; however, at its worst, this image represents a narrow and commodified version of self-care. It reinforces perceived barriers to engaging in self-care: self-care needs to look a specific way, self-care takes too much time, self-care is a luxury, or self-care is too expensive. When I don’t feel like I’m doing self-care “right,” I find it helpful to return to the earliest definition of self-care – when it simply meant “care of self” (*A History of Self-Care*). Self-care is an individual practice based on everyone’s unique situation and resources. Anything you do to take care of yourself is self-care. ###### *Putting yourself first is not putting others last* Self-care is not selfish. Taking care of yourself by intentionally replenishing your resources is what allows you to be authentically present for others. It’s important to fill your cup – even by drops at a time – so that you can continue to keep pouring. ###### *It can be easy to set yourself up to fail* When self-care becomes disconnected from its intention, it can shift into a to do list and a guilt trip. I think if asked, many of us would be able to produce a lengthy list of the things we know we “should” do and don’t do. Sometimes the weight of that list becomes one giant roadblock to engaging in any type of self-care. Other times, the plans that we set for ourselves are too many or too vague: eat healthy, exercise, and read more. When I notice that “should” is on repeat, it’s helpful for me to acknowledge to myself that I am stuck and redirect my focus to one task at a specific time. Sometimes, that may be one thing that I can do in the next five minutes – e.g. take three deep breaths – and other times, it’s a plan for later – e.g. pay the bills after dinner. ###### *Accept that it takes effort (and acknowledge when you have made effort)* The darker side of *#selfcare* culture is pervasive and because it’s associated with a false expectation of ease, it’s easy to forget that self-care takes effort. It’s important to remember that sometimes self-care can look and feel like parenting yourself. Making a budget or setting boundaries are self-care. And as mentioned above, because self-care can sometimes shift into the things you “should” do, it can be easy to be dismissive of the ways that you’re already engaged in self-care. Some days, it’s important to acknowledge the effort that I’ve put into showing up: I woke up on time, I showered, and I brushed my teeth. ###### *Self-care is like tending to a garden* Self-care is a lifelong practice. It’s more like tending to a garden than it is like finishing a race. And thinking of self-care in this way, helps me to welcome flexibility within my own self-care. During the growing season, there are many days when I need to water my garden, there are some days when I need to turn the soil, and there are occasional days when I need cut back growth. Similarly, there are tasks or practices that I may do regularly to continue to replenish my cup, and there are tasks or practices that I may do in response to my cup being drained. Every season of gardening requires new lessons to be learned. Likewise, I like to remember that self-care is a practice and keep myself open to exploring who I am and what I need in each unique moment.   --- Self-care has a fascinating history, and it has held different meanings for groups throughout time. For more information, read [A History of Self-Care by Aisha Harris](http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/culturebox/2017/04/the_history_of_self_care.html) and [The revolutionary origins of self-care by Nicole Stamp](https://locallove.ca/issues/the-revolutionary-origins-of-self-care/#.X8aTJWhKhyy). ![Debrah Lee, LCSW](https://blog.atdove.org/hs-fs/hubfs/Headshots/Square%20Crop/Debrah%20Lee.jpg?width=150&name=Debrah%20Lee.jpg) #### Debrah Lee, LCSW DoveLewis Veterinary Well-being Program Director ### Leave a Comment ## Related Articles [![veterinary well-being](https://blog.atdove.org/hubfs/Untitled%20design%20-%202023-05-09T100736.845.png)](https://blog.atdove.org/veterinary-self-care-part-two) [Veterinary Professional Development](https://blog.atdove.org/tag/veterinary-professional-development) ### [Self-Care Part Two: Creating a Self-Care Plan](https://blog.atdove.org/veterinary-self-care-part-two) Sometimes practicing self-care can feel the least accessible when we need it the most. 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The pressure and intensity... ![Hannah Marshall, DVM, DACVECC](https://blog.atdove.org/hs-fs/hubfs/DVM%20Headshot_420x420%20(23).png?width=45&name=DVM%20Headshot_420x420%20(23).png) [Hannah Marshall, DVM, DACVECC](https://blog.atdove.org/author/hannah-marshall-dvm-dacvecc) [Read More](https://blog.atdove.org/the-dovelewis-experience) #### Our Mission ## We are leaders in the veterinary education profession, but we’re not keeping our knowledge to ourselves. 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